Day 100

Today marks my 100th day on bed rest..wow. This has been the most challenging, scary, humbling experience and I'm so glad it will soon be behind us. I can't wait to meet this precious little boy. My favorite bible verse is Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God". I have always carried it with me, be it in my wallet or car or at my desk at work to serve as a constant reminder that we are not in control. It has taken on even more meaning through this process...could any other phrase/verse/statement better describe what He had planned for us in this journey??
I'm always learning. It's not enough to pray for something and expect to hear from God on your terms. He'll always answer but you have to learn how to listen. If you pray for patience, he doesn't give it to you, but he gives you tests that teach you patience. Curt and I talk about this alot, especially in raising a toddler!
He has taught us both a lot during the past 4 months for sure. The biggest is to "be still". I think that has taken on a lot of meanings for us...it means trust in Him since after all, it is all in His plan. It means I should learn to let go of what I think I can control...bed rest is the best teacher for this. I've had to rely on my family to do everything I usually do, which has not been easy but is the best way to teach a control-freak how to let go! Once you let go, you finally see that there is another way to make a grilled cheese sandwich and yes, it might even taste better than yours...it opens you to all the wonderful things you were missing by doing it all yourself. And of course, it literally means "be still"...like He is saying "I'll give you the strength to get through this (with your sanity intact) if you'll just be still and wait."
In all of that mumbling, my point is that even though it has been a long 100 days, it has been exactly what I needed at this point in life. It was time I learned these things and for that I'm grateful!